Three tips for building trust in a Parent-Child relationship

Note: Depending on your situation and our nature, some of these tips
may be harder than others, but all of them are important.

1. KEEP YOUR PROMISES

If you say you are going to do something, do it.  This applies to both good situations and bad.  If you say you will go to your child's soccer game - be there.  If you threaten punishment if your child breaks curfew, follow through.  Trust is built when your child knows you mean what you say.

2. BE A ROLE MODEL

 Being a Parent is like holding a leadership position at work; people follow what you do, not what you say.  Build trust with your child by practicing what you preach.

3. LISTEN

The best way to show your child that you understand is by
listening, truly listening, not just waiting for the chance to talk.

The concept of "Integrity" can seem pretty abstract to kids - indeed the idea of integrity itself is very abstract.  So how do we make it real for our children?  Why not try inventing a scenario that encourages children to think about their choices? 

It's important as parents to give our children a non-judgmental space in which to share their responses.  More than anything else, you want their honest answers.  It isn't a test: it's more of an exploration into integrity, into learning what the right thing is and how to actually do it, especially when there is peer pressure involved.  And certainly not every choice they make will be popular with everyone.  Let your kids know that it's not about what other people think.

What would you do if...?

...You saw your best friend stealing a scarf from your teacher's desk?

...You noticed that your grandmother dropped a $20 bill the same day you want to buy a popular new video game?

...You saw the last piece of chocolate cake in the fridge but knew your sister was hoping to have it for dessert?

...You jokingly said something at recess and later heard it repeated as a rumor?

...You witnessed a classmate being bullied in the hallway at school?

 

"If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges.  Be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning." - Carol Dweck

Encourage risk, failing and learning from mistakes.  Now is the time to let our kids risk and fail.  Failure teaches our kids important lessons.  For one, it's how they learn resiliency.  But we often want to prevent our kids from failing, from feeling upset or sad.  Don't. 

We must let our kids fail now so that they can strengthen their growth mindset muscles.  If we don't, they will be adults with no perseverance, with no belief in their abilities, to work hard and succeed.  

Children are not lazy.  They may be frustrated, discouraged, anxious or angry.  They may have become disillusioned, defiant, self-critical or pessimistic.  They may lack confidence in their ability but this is not laziness.  The misconception that kids are lazy is one of the most common and most destructive misunderstandings of children.  

What really motivates children?

Motivation begins with interest.  Interest leads to exploration and learning and to the development of projects.  Projects then become ambitions and goals.  Like all of us, children want to do what they are "good at."  They want to shine and feel proud and again, they want us to be proud of them!

1. Model it: If you want them to do it, you have to do it too.
2. Expect it: When your expectations are reasonably high, children rise to the occasion.
3. Teach it: Give Children the tools they need to show you respect.  Your Powerful Words Family School can assist you with the lessons.
4. Praise it: When you see or hear your children using respectful language and making respectful choices, recognize it and praise them for making respectful choices, recognize it and praise them for making positive, respectful decisions.
5. Discuss it:  Pick out times when you see other children using respectful or disrespectful language or behavior and discuss with it your children.
6. Correct it: Be strong, firm and direct when teaching respect.  At the same time, be sure you are being respectful yourself while correcting the behavior.
7. Acknowledge it: don’t just let things slide.  Be sure to notice when respectful behaviors are being exhibited and make sure to call them on disrespectful behavior!
8. Understand it: Your children are growing and learning.  Sometimes word choice and behavioral decisions are made because they do not have the correct words or behavior to relay “I’m tired,” “I’m frustrated,” or “I’m angry.”
9. Reinforce it: Remind children of their good decisions so that they remember how it felt, the praise they received, and the overall experience of being respectful.
10. Reward it: Respectful behavior should be something that children want to do without over indulgent rewards.  However, it is good to associate respectful behavior with intangible rewards such as praise, recognition, extra responsibility and privileges.

Our school-wide goal is to build relationships and to teach social and behavioral skills that students need to be successful throughout life.

Students earn Tiger Tokens when they display any of the Tiger traits.  Teachers are looking to reward students for being:

• Trustworthy
• Integrity
• Growth
• Effort
• Respect

Students can spend Tiger Tokens in many ways:

• At the School Store
• For Ice Cream
• Join the Tiger Club when 50 tokens have been saved.